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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29793408">Dark Heat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAMCROeater/pseuds/SAMCROeater'>SAMCROeater</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MCU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:40:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29793408</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAMCROeater/pseuds/SAMCROeater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Audrey Rogers did not have a lot to be particularly happy about. Her parents, while abusive and absent, are dead and gone, her brother wants to be better than he is, and she's always taking care of him when she isn't working. Is there anything that can make her happy?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MCU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190117</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Audrey walked into the apartment, kicking her shoes off at the door, noticing that it was incredibly quiet. Either Steve was asleep or, more likely, he’d gone out. She went into the kitchen to get some water, seeing a note taped to the fridge, taking the note down to read it. </p><p>‘Hey, doll. Took Stevie to the hospital. If you’re reading this he was admitted. He was having trouble breathing again. I’ll be at home probably. Give me a ring if you have the energy. If I not, I’ll check in on him in the morning and then be by. Later, doll. Bucky.’</p><p>She sighed and rolled her eyes, throwing the note away. She wasn’t surprised to find that her brother was in the hospital again. He was always getting sick in some way. Though he was her older brother, she was always taking care of him. When he allowed himself to show weakness, that is. She put one of the TV dinners in the oven, rubbing her head as she waited for it to cook. She worked at the local diner and she’d had to pick up two extra shifts so that she could pay the bills. With both of her parents gone and Steve unable to work because his many illnesses made him a liability, she was the only one that could earn money. It was exhausting, but it was either take on extra shifts or sleep with the sleazy landlord, which she wasn’t about to do. She yawned deeply as the timer went off, turning off the oven and bringing her food to the living room along with her water. After she finished eating, it wasn’t much longer until she fell asleep where she was. It was 2 in the morning and she was exhausted. When she woke up that afternoon, she found that she had been covered up by the comforter from her room. She slowly sat up and looked around, running her hand through her hair. </p><p>“Welcome to the land of the living, doll. You sleep alright?”<br/>
“Bucky? What are you doing here?”<br/>
“I told you I’d be by. I walked in and you were snoring on the couch so I covered you up. I tried to pick you up to take you to your room but you bit me.”<br/>
“You know better than to move me when I’m sleeping. You check on Steve?”<br/>
“Yeah. They’re keeping him a couple days. He’s got pneumonia again.”<br/>
“Shit. That’s the third time this year.”</p><p>She ran her hands over her face with a groan. </p><p>“Just breathe sweets. He’s gotten over it many times. He’ll do it again.”</p><p>She shook her head and looked at him. </p><p>“I have to make him some soup, but I don’t have the cash to do it. Or rather, if I do an extra grocery trip, that’s less money that I have for the bills. And Derek is pressing harder for me to sleep with him.”<br/>
“He still trying? I thought you said he stopped?”<br/>
“He did for a little while. He got a hobby but got bored with it. So he started up on me again.”<br/>
“Do you want me to talk to him?”<br/>
“No. It won’t help. But he raised the rent because I won’t and he’s still steamed I continued to turn him down.”<br/>
“Son of a bitch. Please let me talk to him?”<br/>
“No, Bucky. I’ll figure it out and I’ll be fine. But I am going to take a shower. I still smell like burger grease. If you’re hungry, help yourself.”<br/>
“Actually, I have to go for a bit. But I’ll be back in a few.”</p><p>She nodded and kissed him softly when he stood up and went over to her, cupping his face gently. She smiled softly when he groaned into the kiss. </p><p>“You could bottle that smell of yours and give me 80 bottles. I’ll jerk it to that smell every night and think of you.”</p><p>She laughed softly and smacked his shoulder gently. </p><p>“Ew, don’t be gross! Get out of here!”</p><p>She shook her head as he left with a smirk on his face, going to take her shower. Bucky was known around town as a lady’s man. He had no problem getting girls to swoon for him. But when he got a girl, he was pretty damn loyal. He’d never been fully ready for commitment, but he was always the perfect mix of bad boy and husband material. When Audrey and Bucky first started dating, it was very apparent that the two teenagers were made for each other, but it was a case of the right person and the wrong time. So they waited. They remained friends, but there was always that part of them that always gravitated toward each other. When she turned 20, he seemed to finally be ready for that commitment that every girl craved. So she got his heart. He still flirted with other girls, but she never worried about it because she knew that 1: he would never hurt her like that, and 2: she held his heart. And she’d always been careful with it. </p><p> </p><p>“Drafted? You were drafted? Why?”<br/>
“I don’t know. I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna leave you alone.”<br/>
“But…… you proposed. We were making plans. We were gonna get married.”</p><p>Audrey looked at James when he cupped her face gently, letting him wipe away the tear that fell down her cheek. </p><p>“We can still get married. We will get married. Steve will be there and then we’ll start our family. Have a bunch of kids and dogs and every summer we’ll take a trip somewhere fun. Every mother’s day you’ll be treated to those gross breakfasts in bed the kids will make and then I’ll make you a proper breakfast. We’ll have a bunch of birthday parties and first days of school and all of that. We’ll grow old with each other. And it’ll start as soon as I get back. I promise you, Audrey. Don’t go giving up on me just yet.”<br/>
“I’m not, I’m just….. I’m not naive. I know what goes on. I don’t want you getting hurt. Or killed. And it’s a huge possibility.”<br/>
“I know it is. But I don’t have a choice. If I run away, I’ll be branded a deserter and get arrested. I have to do this.”</p><p>She sighed deeply, letting him pull her into his arms, crying into his shoulder. </p><p>“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.”<br/>
“It won’t be forever. I’ll be back and we’ll get married and start a family. I promise.”<br/>
“How can you promise that?”<br/>
“Because I have something to come home to. Someone that’ll be waiting for me. And when I come back, I don’t want a huge welcome party. I just want to make up for lost time and then watch you walk down that aisle. And cake, of course.”</p><p>She smiled and laughed softly through her tears, kissing him softly and passionately, wrapping her arms around his neck. </p><p>“Just promise to be careful, ok? That’s what I want. I don’t want one of those letters saying that I’ll never get my family. It’ll crush me.” </p><p>She watched him nod, resuming their kiss when he closed the gap, letting him lay her back. As things sped up between them, her mind was elsewhere. Her father was abusive and ultimately decided that he would rather risk his life than be a father and died from mustard gas, her mother didn’t want the responsibility of having children without her husband and died from tuberculosis, and Steve was constantly trying to join an army that didn’t want him because of his many illnesses. James was the only one who wasn’t actively looking to leave her, but he was being taken from her. She was starting to think that she was destined to be alone. That anyone she loved, or who dared to love her, was fated to leave her. It was a haunting feeling that took over every thought. Logically, she knew people came into and out of someone’s life. But not having friends due to how hard she was working combined with her dead parents and absent brother did not leave her with much else to feel. But because she was so used to holding in her feelings, she was good at tricking people into thinking she was fine with how things were going in her life. Except for James. He could tell when she was reaching her limit and how to coax her into talking to feel better. And now she was looking at losing him. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey sat in the living room with Steve, neither of them saying a word. She was deep in thought, thinking over everything Abraham had told her about his project. Steve had talked to him first and told him that his sister would be a good fit too. But as she sat there thinking, she wasn’t so sure. She wasn’t sure about allowing a stranger to inject her with some kind of serum with effects that he didn’t know would take to the two of them. She wasn’t sure about putting her life into the hands of someone that wanted to make human weapons. And she wasn’t sure that if she did this that she would ever see James again. </p><p>“What do you think, Audrey?”<br/>
“I don’t know about this, Steve. This is a lot to take in.”<br/>
“How can you say that? If we do this, we’ll be making a difference. I’ll be in the army like I’ve always wanted and you’ll have the freedom to do whatever you wanna do. This will be great for both of us.”</p><p>She scoffed and stood up, going into the kitchen to grab some juice, drinking the glass she poured for herself before looking at her brother. </p><p>“I wanna think this is a great idea, and it does sound like it, but Abraham doesn’t know what the effects will be or if it’ll work at all. We could turn into his old protege, we could die, or it just won’t work. And that’s why I’m hesitating. My entire life I’ve taken care of others, of you and, while I don’t mind it, I wouldn’t know what to do with the freedom. And if it does work, let’s say the effects are positive. I don’t want James coming home to a whole new person. If the prototype of this serum changed someone and focused on their greed and hunger for power, I don’t wanna know what it could do to us. And I don’t wanna do that to James.”<br/>
“So you’re going to say no to this opportunity? You’re gonna give up on the ability to better your life?”<br/>
“How do you even know that this will better our lives, Steve? How can you possibly know anything when even the man who created this serum doesn’t know what it’ll do to us? And how dare you stand there and guilt trip me into something like this! Dad hit you too, mom abandoned you too, but I’m the one that was left to clean up the mess they left behind! You were too sick to even lift your head to puke at the time! You should’ve been the one to take care of me, not the other way around. But you were in and out of the hospital! Meaning that I had to grow up really goddamn fast! I had to take care of you, learn how to cook and clean on my own, focus on school, and get a job so we could stay! I’m the reason we’re not living on the street and you have the damn audacity to stand there and accuse me of giving up? You have the balls to tell you that my life isn’t worth shit? Well fine. I’ll do this with you. If this works and the serum doesn’t kill us, you’re on your own. You can take care of yourself from here on out. I’m done taking care of people that don’t deserve it.”</p><p>She stormed off to her room, slamming the door shut and screaming into her pillow before flopping down on her bed. She rolled over to look up at the ceiling, hearing Steve leave the apartment altogether. She rolled her eyes and laid there until she fell asleep. She’d show up to this place Abraham wanted them to go to, get this serum, and allow whatever happened to happen. She’d either die, nothing would happen, or she’d be turned into something. All she could do was hope that she wouldn’t change too much and scare James away.</p><p> </p><p>Audrey walked into the area Peggy led her and Steve to, looking around. As she was only in her underwear, she was a bit chilly. And embarrassed. Like most girls in this day and age, she didn’t necessarily think it was proper for girls her age to be naked, or practically naked, around a bunch of strangers. James was the only one that had ever gotten to see her like this and she’d hoped to keep it that way. But at least Abraham had warned her of this, so she was prepared for all of the staring. Especially from Howard Stark. Though he flirted with her, he treated her like a little sister, and she cared for him. And he knew that she had someone she loved enough that she would never betray in such a way. She looked back at the pod she would be in and eased herself onto the gurney-like mattress, taking a deep steadying breath as a nurse came over to strap her in and give her penicillin before hooking her up to the serum. She gasped softly as the pod closed around her and moved into position, her heart beginning to thud in her chest, closing her eyes. </p><p>“Are you alright in there, Ms. Rogers?”<br/>
“I feel like my heart could fly out of my chest, but I’d be more concerned if I weren’t nervous.”</p><p>She could hear Abraham chuckle, though the sound was muffled. She kept her eyes closed and tried to think of Bucky, trying to get her thoughts to drift to being back in his arms and being married to him. And it worked until the serum started working its way through her system. And then there was nothing but pain. It felt like something forcing its way through her muscles and repairing them before tearing through again. She could hear screaming, not realizing that it was coming from her. She could hear nothing else but the screaming. She was begging for it to stop but nothing changed. After what felt like hours, everything stopped and she was brought down. She was sore from head to toe as if she’d been running for days without stopping. She was helped out of her pod by Howard and a nurse, but the second they let her go, the pain and sudden exhaustion took hold and she collapsed, not feeling Howard catching her before she hit the floor. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey couldn’t keep quiet if she tried. As James bucked his hips up into hers, her moans felt like they were being punched out of her. When Steve brought him back, she could hardly believe it, feeling like she was dreaming for the first 2 days. Until the subject of the wedding was brought up. And then it was full steam ahead. The wedding was planned in 3 days, neither of them wanting something huge right now. They went to the church and paid the priest quite a bit to marry them after the church closed its doors for the night. Steve, Peggy, and Howard were there, and they lit a candle for Abraham. The plan was to get some sleep that night and spend the next day with their friends at Coney Island. But it was currently noon and they were still making up for lost time. As soon as they got home, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Thankfully, Steve hadn’t asked them to keep it down. He just left the apartment, going to rent a hotel room and let them be. The neighbors weren’t particularly happy, but neither Audrey nor James cared. When they finally finished, around 2:30 in the afternoon, they were exhausted. Beyond exhausted. When they woke up, it was midnight. They woke up hungry, sore, sticky, and completely sated. James went to make dinner while Audrey showered, smirking the entire time. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey walked into Steve’s room after knocking, trying to keep her anger under control. Things had been going really well the last few days. She and James were already trying for a baby, Howard had informed them that they were starting work on recreating the serum, and Audrey was starting to enjoy her new freedom. But in one sentence it all came crashing down around her. The family she craved, the man she loved, and her happiness. </p><p>“Audrey? Everything ok?”<br/>
“No. Not exactly. I have a question for you and a request.”<br/>
“Question first.”</p><p>She took a breath and nodded, looking at her hands, which were shaking. She looked back at her brother, letting out the breath. </p><p>“James said that you’d asked him to join you in getting rid of Red Skull. Is that true?”</p><p>She watched him sigh and nodded, closing her eyes and squeezing to hold back the angry tears. </p><p>“I need you to tell him that you don’t need him. That you can do this without him and that he should be with his wife, who he’s trying to have a baby with.”<br/>
“This isn’t about you, Audrey. This is bigger than you.”<br/>
“That’s where you’re wrong. I know that Red Skull needs to be stopped, on that we agree. But I lost mom and dad, and I lost you. I can’t lose him too. And I will if you hold him to this.”<br/>
“You haven’t lost me. And you won’t lose him.”<br/>
“Yes, I have on both accounts. I lost you the minute you decided that you just had to join the army. And I accepted it because it’s what you wanted and it made you feel better for the moment until you were rejected again and I had to pick up the pieces. But if you hold James to this mission, I will lose him. And I will continue to lose him because he will always follow you because he looks at you and still sees the scrawny pain in the ass that won’t back down from a fight, even when he can’t breathe. You need to take it back.”<br/>
“He has skills I could use.”<br/>
“I’m sure there’s someone else that has that skill set, or similar skills. I need my husband.”<br/>
“You’re being selfish. What are you going to do when he has to go back to war? Go to his CO and beg for him to be able to stay home?”</p><p>She went over and slapped her brother across the face, no longer holding back. She watched as his head snapped to the side, glaring at him. </p><p>“Fuck you, Steve Rogers. I have given my entire life to you and never asked for anything in return until now. I’ve never stopped you from doing what you wanted, I’ve supported you, I gave up my position as sister to be your caretaker, I’ve even pretended to be fine so that you weren’t burdened by the fact that I’m so tired of losing people that I needed you to be my brother instead of my son, I’ve given up my entire life to work three jobs so we could stay in the apartment that you were used to, I’ve lost friends because I never had the time to go out and have fun and be a normal human being so I could take care of you, and the only thing I have EVER asked of you is to let me have this one thing. One thing that makes me happy and, as usual, you’re too focused on your version of right and wrong to give me that! After everything I’ve done for this broken fucking family I deserve a family of my own and you won’t even let me have that! Fine. Have James go with you. Take this last bit of happiness from me. But then you get to look at him and explain why I won’t be here when he comes home. And why I’m no longer in New York.”<br/>
“What are you talking about?”<br/>
“By asking him to go with you, you’ve taken the only thing keeping me in this stupid state! I hate New York and I’d been hoping to get James to move to the country with me. Now it looks like I’m moving alone.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Next Shadow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Audrey pulled into a car shop, getting out and going inside to pay for her car to be looked at before making her way across the street to the diner. She sat down at a table and looked over the menu as she waited. Because it was slow, it was 8 in the morning, after all, it wasn’t long before a waitress came over to her. </p><p>“What can I get you, doll?”</p><p>The nickname made her heart clench, but she shook it off. </p><p>“Coffee with cream and sugar on the side, buttermilk pancakes with sausage, extra bacon, sunny side up eggs, and white toast, please.”<br/>“I love that you know what you want and made it easy.”<br/>“I was a waitress up until a year and a half ago. I get it.”</p><p>She returned the woman’s smile, pulling out the book she had in her purse, relaxing and reading it. She started to zone out as she read, not noticing the two men that came up to her table until they sat down. </p><p>“Can I help you, gentlemen?”<br/>“I think we can help you. We noticed you were alone and looking like you were running from something.”<br/>“And if I am, it’s none of your business. I’m just here to eat while my car’s being fixed and then I’m on my way out of town. Please let me do so in peace?”<br/>“Alright then. But there’s no need to be so hostile.”<br/>“Believe me. That wasn’t hostile. That was cold. You don’t wanna see me when I hit hostile.”</p><p>She watched the men chuckled as they left her table, shaking her head. She got a weird vibe from them, but as they left the diner altogether, she put it out of her mind, going back to her book until her food got there. She switched her activities to eating and reading, enjoying herself. She paid for her food when she was done eating, giving a really big tip before leaving. As she made her way across the street, she heard what sounded like someone calling for help down the alley. She warily made her way down the alley, looking around the source of the noise, but as she passed a dumpster, someone jumped up behind her and covered her nose and mouth, holding it there until she passed out, dropping the book she had in her hand still. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey woke up strapped to a table, looking around groggily. She could see and hear people in lab coats walking around and working. She tried to get someone’s attention and ask where she was, but nobody answered her. She could hear what sounded like a heart monitor beeping in the background, looking over to try and get a look at it or whoever was hooked up to it. All she could see was a male figure that was missing an arm. His face was hidden from her view, but it didn’t matter, as her attention was pulled away. </p><p>“You’re awake, darling. Good. I was beginning to think we’d killed you. But I can see we haven’t. I’m glad. Welcome to HYDRA, Ms. Rogers.”<br/>“Where am I? And why am I here?”<br/>“You’re at one of HYDRA’s many facilities. This one happens to be in Germany. Velkommen.”<br/>“I wanna go home.”<br/>“I’m sure you do. But I’m afraid we can’t let you go. You see, the serum given to you by Abraham Erskine is something we want to recreate and we have since been unable to obtain a sample. Until you fell into our laps.”<br/>“I didn’t fall into your laps, you kidnapped me. Now let me go.”<br/>“Once again, we can’t do that. But to answer your question, we plan on experimenting on you to see what the serum can really do. And to see if we can recreate the serum and perfect it. So you are very much needed here at HYDRA. Which means that you are never leaving. But, luckily for you and our other new friend over there, we’re creating a new program that the two of you are going to be prototypes for.” </p><p>She went to say something else, but the reveal of the man’s face made her stop in her tracks. </p><p>“James……. No……”<br/>“Oh, you know him. Who is he to you?”</p><p>She felt tears fill her eyes and fall before she could stop them, unable to look away from her husband. </p><p>“I’m not telling you anything. So whatever you’re going to do to me, you might as well start.”<br/>“Fair enough. I appreciate that you want to get down to it. So we’ll start. And, just to warn you…… This won’t be a pleasant experience for you. I wish we could change that, but surprisingly we didn’t design our machine to cause pain.”</p><p>She didn’t pay the man any attention, still watching James on the other table. She felt bile rise in her throat as she watched them hack off his arm in such a brutal way. It was barbaric to watch and she couldn’t help but cry out for them to stop. But her head was moved into position for them to place something against her temples before putting a gag in her mouth. She didn’t know what was going on, but as soon as they turned the machine on, all she knew was pain more intense than the serum had been for her. Where the serum had left her able to recover from it, this pain was different. It was as if she was losing herself in the pain. And she was. They would shut it off to ask her for her name and, after a few times, she didn’t remember. She couldn’t remember her own name. Or her parents’ names. Her brother’s. If she even had a family. She remembered nothing. They turned the machine off and the man from before watched as one of the doctors checked her out. </p><p>“It was a success, sir. Audrey Rogers is no more. You are looking at her husk.”</p><p> </p><p>Audrey was lead into a room that had an area that was sectioned off by chain-link fences. She was put into the sectioned-off area, watching as a man was brought in. He looked just as confused as she was, which put her at ease just a tiny bit. </p><p>“Hello, James and Audrey. You two have been selected for our Winter Soldier program. You both are the first ones ever and, as is the hope, you will be our greatest assets. Our goal here at HYDRA is to change the world for the better. But that will be explained later. We will train you to use weapons, speak many languages, use your body as a weapon, and many other things. But we will start with hand-to-hand combat. James? I need you to not be afraid to hit our beautiful lady here. Because if you’re interrogating someone that has information we need, we need you to be able to pull out all the stops. Understood?”</p><p>She watched as the man nodded and got into position, doing the same. She felt like she’d seen him before, but she couldn’t think of where. Not that she had a lot of time to think much about it. They were told to start fighting, and before she could register much else, James was charging towards her. She dodged him at the last second, rolling away and getting to her feet. She let her instincts take hold, kicking his leg out from under him, watching him fall to the ground. He retaliated by punching her in the stomach, causing her to stumble back and fall on her ass, trying to catch her breath. She watched as he came towards her again, kicking out her foot in an attempt to reach him, but she missed, earning herself another punch to the gut. She let out a loud groan as she rolled away. She kicked out her foot, getting him in the balls, sending him to the floor. Not wanting to lose, she got back up and wrapped an arm around his neck, squeezing until she was told to stop, though she didn’t stop. It was as if her brain sent a primal instruction to her arm to not let go. She was forced to let go when she was hit with a tranq gun, falling to the floor almost immediately. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey walked into James’ room and leaned against the doorframe, watching him adjust his arm. There was always something in the back of her mind that looked at him and felt that she knew him somehow. She wracked her brain to try and figure it out, but she could never make it past the creation of the Winter Soldier program. She’d learned to keep that thought to herself, not wanting to give HYDRA complete control over her. But that thought was always there and she couldn’t shake it. But despite the two of them not being touchy-feely people, there was something that always pulled each other together. They were people that intentionally did bad things to people they were told were bad people and despite all that they did, there was a strange happiness that they found in each other. Just like on their missions, there was a primal passion that they shared with each other. They’d get done with a mission and they’d come down from it by tearing their clothes off and having sex. It was never vanilla and it was hardly ever private. Every agent at HYDRA had seen them at least once over the years and there wasn’t any place in the world that they hadn’t had sex. They just gravitated towards each other and neither one knew why. Not that they questioned it much. There were moments when flickers of memories would flash in their brains and they would start to question things. Before they’d be wiped again, they would find comfort in each other as if they were romantically linked. Though, the truth of the matter is that neither one was capable of that kind of love. They were machines for HYDRA and they knew and accepted it. </p><p>“Do we have another mission or are you looking for another random fuck? I’m so bored, I’m up for both.”<br/>“Mission. There’s a mark we need to get rid of.”</p><p>She watched him stand up and turn to look at her, taking a step away from the doorframe. </p><p>“Who is it?”<br/>“Howard Stark and his wife.”<br/>“Give me a minute to get ready.”<br/>“I’ll meet you by the bike.”</p><p>She turned around and left the room, making her way down to the garage. She stood by James’ bike, going over the Starks’ itinerary on her tablet as she waited. It was almost an hour before James came down, carrying his own weapons and gear along with hers, getting the bike set up before climbing on. She put her phone in her pocket and climbed on behind him, holding onto him tightly. It was already starting to get dark by the time they left, which meant that it would be totally dark by the time they caught up with the Starks. It sounded like an easy job. The couple was on their way to a charity dinner and then to their private jet and on to their home in Los Angeles. It would be so much more fun to get them at home, but they didn’t get this mission until two hours ago, so there was only so much that could be done. Before long the two assassins were within sight of the Starks’ car and struck. She jumped off the bike and rolled to her feet before walking toward the car as it crashed into a tree. She went to the passenger side and ripped the door off its hinges before looking into the car with an evil smirk. </p><p>“Audrey? Is that you? You died. It was all over the papers. What happened to you?”<br/>“It’s sweet that you think you know me, Stark. But it’s not gonna help you. Or your wife. You got into HYDRA’s way and my life is so much better if HYDRA gets their way. So I hope you told your son you love him. Because this is the end of the line for the two of you.”</p><p>She stood up and put her hand against the wife’s throat and squeezed. The twisted part of her that enjoyed the chase and kill couldn’t stop itself before she went to her knees to watch the life leave the older woman’s eyes while James shot Howard before watching her. She watched as the woman’s eyes go dark and broke her neck for good measure. She stood up and looked over at James and saw the physical representation of what she was feeling. That familiar aching in her lower gut fueled by the adrenaline gained by an accomplished mission and the heart-pounding excitement gained by the power it gave when you had someone’s life in your hands. She watched as James rushed over to her, letting him crash his lips to hers. It was their usual song and dance after a mission. She felt their tongues fighting each other for total dominance as he placed her on top of the trunk of the car and ripped open her blouse, not caring that most of her buttons had popped off and her shirt was now pretty much useless. She reached down to undo his pants, pushing them down just enough that she had easy access to his length. She reached down to wrap her hand around his cock, pumping him as he undid her jeans and pulled them down completely, tossing them to the ground. He let her pump him just long enough to get him rock hard, teasing her clit as she got him ready for her, but once he was he pushed her hand away before guiding himself into her cunt, both of them groaning as he stretched her out. No matter how many times they did this, she could never fully get used to his size. But, being as they were enhanced the way they were, they had stamina that could give rabbits a run for their money. She moaned loudly as he pushed deep inside of her, arching her back. She hooked her legs over his hips, pulling him deeper into her, making her scream his name. </p><p>“How the fuck are you still so tight? It’s like you’re a virgin every fucking time.”</p><p>She looked at him as he bent down to take one of her nipples into his mouth, biting down on it as his hips snapped into hers, her breasts bouncing with each harsh thrust, his pubic bone rubbing against her clit. She could feel her first orgasm building before she knew it. And James seemed to know it too. He kept thrusting until the last second, pulling out as she was about to cum. She cried out in frustration, sitting up and glaring at him, seeing the glare. </p><p>“Fuck you. Why’d you stop?”<br/>“I want you to cum so damn hard that you’re sensitive to cum again and again on the way back to base.”<br/>“Then don’t stop fucking me, asshole.”</p><p>She let him push her back down, gasping when he pushed into her ass, crying out at the sudden stretching. He kept his thrusting slowly until her arousal dripped down to give some much-needed lube. She felt him move faster and harder once it was easier for him to do so, her moans mixing with his groans and the slapping of skin on skin echoing around them, disrupting the otherwise silent area they were in. She gave in to the pleasure she was feeling, throwing her head to the side, noticing the working camera and tapped James’ shoulder, pointing it out to him. She looked at him, seeing him smirk back at her. </p><p>“Might as well give them a show before we take it out.”</p><p>The giggle she let out quickly turned into a loud moan as the thumb of his metal hand met her clit, feeling him rub hard and tight circles into it, making her legs shake. 3 more thrusts and she was cumming around him hard enough for her body to push him out of here, though his thumb didn’t stop, drawing out her orgasm and intensifying it at the same time. Her legs shook as she came again, writhing as she cried out his name, her hands digging into the metal underneath her. She pushed him away when it got to be too much, looking at him. She pulled him in for a deep kiss as he pushed into her cunt again, the throbbing of her sensitive walls making him groan as he started pounding into her, giving no warning or build-up. Not that she cared at this point. She was chasing another release while he chased his own. She let him place her legs over his shoulders, allowing him to have something to hold onto as his thrusts went deeper into her. Her orgasm peaked and broke, unable to stop the scream as she came hard enough to squirt. She could feel her juices pooling under her before cascading down the car and could hear them splashing onto the ground. Her legs felt like jelly as the aftershocks hit her as he spilled out inside her. It wasn’t the first time something like this happened. Where they got caught up in the moment and left traces of themselves behind and they had to clean up their mess. Nor was it the first time that he’d cum inside her and HYDRA got angry that they’d compromised themselves like this. And one would think, if HYDRA was smarter than this, that they’d sterilize Audrey or James to avoid pregnancy scares that would mean Audrey would be down for the count for months to over a year. But they never did. They never even brought it up. Audrey and James were only ever given a slap on the wrist, a lecture, and told to be careful next time. At this point, they were no better than virgin teenagers that were rebelling against overprotective fathers that made a mistake. The morning-after pill and a good stiff drink and the moment passed. Once they came down from their highs, she started cleaning up, pulling the bodies out of the car before setting it on fire to get rid of the foreign DNA, hearing James shoot out the camera. She got dressed before getting back on the bike, both her and James riding off as if nothing happened. Business as usual.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Deep Window</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Audrey walked through SHIELD with Alexander, listening to him brief her, unnecessarily, on what she needed to do. The last week had been dedicated to making sure Audrey knew the plan after they’d had to wipe her memory again. She’d seen a picture of Howard online and started to get those memory flashes. She pushed him into a hallway and looked at Alexander, using her powers of pain manipulation to make him feel the effects of a broken leg. </p><p>“I know my mission. You don’t need to repeat yourself for the 30th time this week. I’m not dumb. Now knock it off, Pierce.”</p><p>She backed off and walked out with him, following him to where they needed to be. There were so many people walking around, but she wasn’t paying attention to anyone or anything else that she didn’t need to. So she didn’t notice the man staring at her as if he’d seen a ghost. Nor did she pay attention to the fact that he was now following them. She walked into a conference room with Pierce as he caught up with them, though the door shut in his face as he got there. She sat down next to Pierce at the table, crossing her legs as she got comfortable. She used her phone throughout the entire meeting, playing it off like she was taking notes on her phone when in reality, she was downloading information on someone they were looking into. The whole meeting took 3 hours and by the time it was over, she was so bored that she could’ve killed someone just for something to do. When Pierce got up, he put his hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“Go find Rumlow. He’ll be able to help you with the next part of this.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes and swatted his hand away before getting up and calling Rumlow. </p><p>“Pierce wants me with you. Where are you?”<br/>“Break room on the 4th floor. I’ll wait, but hurry up. I have things to do.”<br/>“Well, sure. You don’t want your coke getting warm.”</p><p>She hung up and walked off, her heels clicking across the floor as she walked to her destination. </p><p> </p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>The days after seeing that girl were the most confusing I’ve ever felt. I thought waking up 70 years after crashing that plane was bad enough. I’d asked about my sister and nobody was able to tell me anything. And honestly? I hadn’t expected anyone to know anything. Technology had come a long way, but it wasn’t perfect. Even with all the advancements, the internet could only go back so far. I always doubted that they’d be able to find anything on Audrey. The most that had been found at the time was a missing person report from Michigan a few days after she left, but nothing had been left behind. She just disappeared off the face of the earth. So I mourned her death and moved on. Everyone else in my family died. Why not her? Even Bucky was gone. Why shouldn’t I lose my sister too? So seeing that girl was a total shock. It was like seeing a ghost. Was I dreaming? I’d been talking to Peggy about Audrey in an attempt to figure out why I had sabotaged things with her all those years ago, so maybe it was my mind punishing me for hurting her so badly. I didn’t know. I even talked to Nat about what happened. She agreed to help me figure out who this girl was. Now we were playing the waiting game as we waited for the search results. I’d seen the girl a few more times around SHIELD and each time it was like getting those damn lung infections. It always felt like the air was sucked out suddenly and that feeling only returned tenfold when I lost sight of her. So here I was, in a crowded cafe, following this girl that I hadn’t talked to, who probably didn’t know who I was, and even if she did, she probably only knew me as Captain America, and who probably wasn’t even who I thought she was. She stood up and threw her coffee cup away when her phone went off. I kept my distance as I followed her, catching a few words as she muttered in French. She was talking to someone about some guy named James. Another point in the irony category. Hearing his name shot a huge bolt of guilt through me, making me think of how much I hurt them both. Bucky hadn’t given me a lecture when he found out what happened, but he wasn’t exactly happy with me. He helped me still and I…… I looked down when my phone went off, grabbing it out of my back pocket, and saw Nat’s number, answering it quickly. </p><p>“Si vous la suivez de plus près, elle portera plainte, Rogers.” (If you follow her any closer, she's gonna press charges, Rogers.)<br/>“Je dois savoir si c'est elle. Et si c'est le cas, comment elle a survécu.” (I have to know if it's her. And if it is, how she survived.)<br/>“Elle a reçu le même sérum que vous. Et vous avez dit qu'elle avait subi les mêmes changements que vous. Si c'est le cas, vous savez comment elle a survécu.” (She was given the same serum you were. And you said she went through the same changes you did. If that's the case, you know how she survived.)<br/>“Tu voulais quelque chose, Nat?” (Is there something you wanted, Nat?)<br/>“Ouais. Revenez au SHIELD. J'ai trouvé de nouvelles choses sur notre fille. Mais tu n'aimeras pas ce que tu vois.” (Yeah. Get back to SHIELD. I found new stuff on our girl. But you're not gonna like what you see.)</p><p>I hung up and sighed before looking up to find that I lost Audrey. I looked around to find her, but she was nowhere to be found. I sighed again before making my way back to my bike, riding back to SHIELD. When I made it back, I went to find Nat, finding her in the break room, nursing a coffee. I poured myself a cup and sat down next to her. </p><p>“What’d you find?” </p><p>She simply handed me a thick folder, looking at me. I opened it and the first thing that jumped out at me was a picture from one of my shows back in the day. Audrey was standing next to me, smiling at the camera as she held a little girl that couldn’t be more than 3 years old. I don’t know why tears started to fill my eyes, but I had to blink them back so I could see properly. I cleared my throat and pulled out the other pictures. There was one of her in one of those stupid female Captain America costumes with her hair done up in that 50s style that suited her so well. It always did. Another one of her with Buck when we first returned home. There had been a lot of pictures of me, but I remember asking them to stop taking pictures of me after a while and focus on someone else. Her arms were wrapped around Buck’s neck as they kissed, his arms around her waist right before he’d picked her up. Another of her standing with me, Peggy, and Howard. It was right before we’d gotten the serum and we were all smiling. </p><p>“God, it’s like being there all over again.”<br/>“Good memories, I hope.”<br/>“It starts that way. Then I remember what happened after. Like this one.”</p><p>I handed her a picture of me, Audrey, and Buck. We were at Coney Island and paid someone to take our picture. </p><p>“You look so young. And small.”<br/>“Yeah, well…… It was her 15th birthday. I’d wanted to take her to Coney Island but she wanted a quiet night at home. This was not too long after she started working at the diner and she was just starting to take extra shifts. She had told Buck’s mom that our mom was sending us money so she wouldn’t worry about us.”<br/>“She was taking care of you.”</p><p>I nodded, looking at a picture of Audrey and me, unable to stop the tears this time. At least we were alone this time.</p><p>“She gave up everything to take care of me. I had a long list of health problems and there was a lot I couldn’t do. Diabetes, asthma, rheumatic fever, scarlet fever, and so much more. When our parents left and died, it was just us. I was really sick when we got the news that our mom died. She was 13 at the time. She focused on school and work so we had money. She grew up faster than she should.”</p><p>I cleared my throat and shook my head as Nat placed her hand on mine. </p><p>“Anyway…… Bucky and I took her to Coney Island and got her to let loose. Have some fun. And for a while, things were great. We were having fun, eating, going on rides. But then her boss showed up and caught her when she should’ve been at work. I didn’t know she had a shift, but I didn’t let her tell me. She got fired that day and it ruined her birthday. She never did open her presents.”<br/>“Did she ever get her job back?”<br/>“Yeah. I went and talked to her boss. But these pictures are just reminding me of how much I ruined her life.”<br/>“How did you ruin her life? You were sick and couldn’t take care of yourself.”<br/>“She shouldn’t have had to take care of me. She shouldn’t have had to give up on having friends to be there for me like that. She focused on school at all because Bucky made her do it. She was a great girl who got used to taking care of others because she didn’t wanna lose anyone. She didn’t make connections with anyone because there wasn’t time. And there wasn’t time because her whole life was cleaning up after me and Bucky. When she and Bucky started dating, I saw another side to her that I hadn’t seen since she was a little girl before our dad started hitting her. She was happy. She had someone to love that wasn’t broken. I was constantly getting in trouble and trying to get into the Army and I left her alone. I left Bucky to pick up the pieces. When I brought Bucky home, they got married and immediately started working on starting a family and I got jealous. I was the one being left behind again and I hated it. So I asked Bucky to come with me to go up against Red Skull. I could’ve let him stay home and be with his wife. I didn’t need to be taken care of anymore. I should’ve let him stay home. But I didn’t wanna be alone. So I asked him to come with me. Audrey found out and begged me to let him stay with her. I knew it was wrong but I ignored her. Told her she was being selfish. She left and stayed in a hotel until Buck and I left and then she packed her bags and left. Neither one of us ever made it home.”</p><p>I sniffed and wiped my eyes, looking down at the folder in front of me, hearing Nat sniffle too. I looked through the reports and something didn’t feel right. The serum worked on her the way it did on me. Now, I’m not bulletproof, but it’s not easy to kill me. It wouldn’t have been easy to kill her either. And she’d been killed, there would be a body. So where is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Audrey stood in her room at the base, her hand resting against her head. The flashes were getting more consistent and she hadn’t told anyone about it. She wanted to remember, and that wouldn’t happen if she said something. She kept seeing images of Captain America. But he was different. He was skinny and weak-looking, but he had that determined look on his face that said he wasn’t going to step away from a fight no matter what. Sometimes they were together and sometimes they weren’t. But she knew him somehow, she just didn’t know how. But it wasn’t romantically. She’d also had images of her and James and they were romantic. She didn’t know how far they’d gotten in a relationship, but she could tell they loved each other. And it was starting to bleed into how she treated James now. </p><p>“Audrey! I’ve been calling you for 5 minutes.”</p><p>She jumped and looked around to find James staring at her. She cleared her throat and looked back at him. </p><p>“What do you need?”<br/>“We have another mission. But maybe I should take this one alone.”<br/>“I think you should. I have something I have to do.”</p><p>She shut the door on him before he could say anything else, getting changed into normal street clothes - short-sleeved Metallica t-shirt, hooded sweatshirt, low rise jeans, and combat boots - grabbing a pair of sunglasses and her wallet as she left. She made her way down to the bus stop, rushing to climb on when she saw it was there, not wanting to miss it. She got off when it got to one of the stops in town, going into the Best Buy and buying a phone and some minutes to load on it, going outside to call SHIELD. </p><p>“SHIELD headquarters, how may -----”<br/>“I’m kind of in a hurry and don’t have the patience to be pleasant. I need to speak to Steve Rogers.”<br/>“I’m sorry, but Steve Rogers is no longer associated with SHIELD.”<br/>“Thanks for nothing.”</p><p>She sighed and hung up before walking into the mall, going back to the Best Buy, and bought a laptop. She went to the food court to hookup the laptop and hacking into SHIELD’s system to lookup an address for Steve, finding one to an apartment in Brooklyn. She broke the laptop and threw it into the trash, lighting it on fire before walking off to the bus stop. When she got to Steve’s apartment building, she went up and saw his place swarming with SHIELD agents. She sighed and left, trying to think of where she might look, but she was at a loss. But then something hit her. She went to the nearest car and found it empty. She broke the window and opened the car door from the inside. She quickly hotwired the car and turned off the horrible beeping noise before peeling out. She didn’t know how she knew how to get to this army base, but getting there was like accessing a memory she’d forgotten. But she was in the right place. As she climbed out of the SUV, she saw Steve coming out with some woman, both of them looking like they’d seen a lot of shit that confused and scared them. </p><p>“Steve? Isn’t that her?”<br/>“Audrey?”</p><p>She looked over at him, standing in silence because she didn’t know what to say. She watched him come over with the other woman in his arms, rubbing her arm with her hand, clearing her throat a bit. </p><p>“I don’t know exactly who you are to me, but I know we know each other. I don’t know what’s going on, but based on the images I’ve been getting, I used to be someone completely different from who I am now and I wanna know who that person was. And I haven’t seen anyone else but you, so I was hoping you could help me.”<br/>“I can. But not here. I know where we can go to talk. I’ll drive.”</p><p>She nodded, going to the car and wiping down her prints before going to the other car, climbing in the backseat, and shut herself in. </p><p> </p><p>Audrey walked into the house with Steve and Natasha, looking around as she made her to the back bedroom, stopping to look at one picture in particular. It was a wedding photo of who she could only assume were Sam’s parents. They looked happy and it made her heart ache for James, tears coming to her eyes. She’d never once cried since coming to HYDRA and it made her angry. How dare they take away her ability to feel anything? How dare they take her freedom? She tore herself away from the picture when she felt someone touch her shoulder, her fight response kicking in. Though she only had limited room in the hallway, she was able to get the person in a tight headlock until Steve rushed out to talk her down. She eventually let Sam go, letting him and Natasha pass so Sam could catch his breath. </p><p>“Are you ok? What just happened?”<br/>“As I said, I’m still more of a soldier than anything else. I’m only just starting to get my memories back and they’re more like photographs than actual memories.”<br/>“Explain. Cause I don’t quite get it.”</p><p>She sighed and went into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed, burying her head in her hands. She was trying to get the words in order so she could explain it properly. </p><p>“I know Captain America because you’re everywhere. But I didn’t know Steve Rogers. You were never a mark or mission, so I didn’t bother. The only reason I know your name, your real name, is because I had this image of you with some kind of weird caption on it. The Steve Rogers I see is scrawny and sickly but it’s definitely you. I just don’t know who you are to me, but I know you mean something to me. To the old me.”<br/>“Like a puzzle with pieces missing?”<br/>“More like an empty puzzle table and you get the pieces in different intervals. I get images of someone or something and there’s always a disconnect. Like the pieces don’t fit with the other pieces I have. The only images that connect are you and James. Everything else is fuzzy around the edges. Like they’re part of a bigger picture that haven’t cleared up yet.”<br/>“What else have you seen?”<br/>“You, James, some woman in a nurse’s uniform, some kind of pod, a church, an ugly little apartment, and a diner. That’s it. Trying to clear anything up just hurts. It’s been going on for a few days.”</p><p>She sighed and sniffled softly, more tears coming to her eyes, wiping them away. She was uncomfortable showing emotion since she had never done so before now. </p><p>“I can help fit some of those pictures together. If you want me to.”<br/>“Please?”<br/>“You’re my sister and caregiver. That’s who you are to me. You gave up your life to take care of me because you love so deeply. That’s how I always remembered you.”</p><p>She watched as Steve came over to hug her. She flinched deeply when he first put his arms around her and tried to relax. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t something she was used to. It started to confuse her and she panicked, jumping up and rushing into the bathroom to take a shower, locking the door and hiding in the shower, her mind racing.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Growing Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>It was hard to see my sister like this. She was struggling to remember who she was but the more she tried, the more it affected her. It almost seemed like she was losing herself trying to get herself back. And I couldn’t help her. She had closed herself off to us, and she was incredibly jumpy. Which, coupled with the fact that she would get lost in her own mind, was not a good thing. There were times where HYDRA’s brainwashing would rear its ugly head and the soldier would be back again. While she was just as dangerous as Nat, if not a little more so because while Nat had a moral compass, Audrey was prone to talk first. As long as you didn’t touch her or make her angry. Then she brought pain to you or anyone else that got in her way. And enjoyed it. It was incredibly difficult to calm her back down when she got like that and even harder to watch the confused guilt take over when she came out of it. It helped to get the answers we needed, but it broke her spirit more and more. I was determined to help her fix things, but I didn’t even know where to start. I sat in the kitchen with Sam, the two of us cooking and talking while Natasha napped on the couch and Audrey napped in the guest room. We got to know each other a little better, talking about our families and our pasts, relaxing into the conversation. But the conversation came to a screeching halt when Audrey started screaming. I jumped up and raced into the bedroom, seeing her bolt up in bed covered in a cold sweat as she tried to remember where she was. </p><p>“Audrey? It’s Steve. You’re safe. You’re not in HYDRA anymore. You’re in Sam’s house.”</p><p>She looked towards me, her whole body tensed up until the recognition started. I watched her calm down enough to let me sit on the bed without hurting me. Then she did something I wasn’t expecting. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me, seeking out comfort when she usually shied away from it. She flinched when I put my arms around her, but she didn’t move. Crying into my shirt, she leaned into me and let me hold onto her until she ran out of tears. Then the hiccups started. </p><p>“I know it’s hard, but you have to breathe, bunny. You’ll be able to think better if you do.”</p><p>She looked up at me, somehow managing to look like a little girl again. </p><p>“Bunny?”<br/>“That was what I called you as a kid. It used to make you smile. If you don’t want me to call you that anymore, I won’t.”<br/>“It’s fine. I just don’t remember it.”<br/>“You made a face when I said it. I can give you a different nickname. Or just call you by your name. Which would you prefer?”<br/>“Just use my name for now?”</p><p>I nodded, rubbing her back gently, feeling her stiffen for a second before relaxing into me again. I could only imagine how weird it is to go from knowing pain to feeling any kind of affection, so I remembered to be patient with stuff like this. </p><p>“Audrey it is. Why don’t you lay back and try to get some more sleep?”<br/>“I’m actually hungry. Is there something to eat?”<br/>“Yeah. Sam and I were making dinner. Do you wanna come out with me and check on dinner?”<br/>“Can I just stay in here?”</p><p>I nodded again, pulling away and looking at her. I rubbed her arm gently before standing up, keeping myself from kissing her head as I turned to leave, going back to the kitchen, sighing deeply as I looked at Sam. </p><p>“She ok?”<br/>“She will be. She’s just…..lost. She’s trying to remember but it’s hurting her to do so.”<br/>“How do you wanna handle it? Because it seems that soldier is taking control more and more. Almost like whatever HYDRA did to her is still working on her brain.”<br/>“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, but right now I just wanna make sure that she isn’t gonna bolt again.”</p><p>---------------------</p><p>Audrey was currently helping to get people out of the street. After James attacked the car, she didn’t have enough time to tell the others that she could talk to him. So now she was just waiting for her opportunity to get him alone. And she was about to get it. He was fighting Steve and she found her way in. Steve had managed to get James’ mask off and called him by his nickname, causing James to stop in his tracks. She raced over and stood in front of James, facing him. He stopped when he saw her, his stance going from defensive to apprehensive. </p><p>“Audrey? What the hell are you doing?”<br/>“You know him. I know you’ve been getting memory flashes too. He’s family to us. Real family. I need you to trust me, James. Like you’ve always done before now. Can you do that?”</p><p>She watched him, holding her hand out to him. </p><p>“We can help you piece together your memories. But you have to trust us. You have to trust me.”<br/>“I don’t know……”<br/>“Come on, James. Don’t you wanna know what HYDRA tried to take from us? Don’t you wanna know why they tried so hard to make you forget the truth? Don’t you wanna know what those images mean? I know you know we’re connected somehow and I wanna know how. Please tell me that I’m not alone?”</p><p>She kept her hand held out to him, hoping he would take it. She could hear Steve behind her, and she could hear Natasha and Sam in the distance, but she could also hear sirens coming. When James took her hand, she looked back at Steve before running off with him, taking off in a random direction. She knew that SHIELD would be coming for Steve and the others, and she didn’t want to be caught up in it. So she left. She took James and ran. She didn’t know where they were going to go, but they were gonna go together.</p><p>-------------------------</p><p>Audrey walked into Steve’s hospital room, sitting down next to him. She had to be quick because James was waiting for her, but she had to say goodbye when Sam told her that Steve was ok. She placed her hand on his. It still felt weird to want affection after everything that happened, but she did crave it. She looked over as he woke up, giving him a small smile. </p><p>“I was worried about you. Where did you go?”<br/>“That doesn’t matter. I had to see you and say goodbye.”<br/>“Goodbye? Where are you going?”<br/>“I can’t tell you that. All I can say is that we’ll be fine. We’ll take care of each other. But we need to be away from HYDRA. And we can’t do that with SHIELD. So we’re leaving to figure things out.”<br/>“Will you check in every now and then?”<br/>“If I can. I just…… Thank you, Steve. I remember the last time we talked before HYDRA got me and I want you to know that I get it. I know what it’s like to feel left behind and that’s not what we intended to do.” </p><p>She kissed his head gently before quickly pulling away, looking at him with tears in her eyes. </p><p>“I love you, Steve. That was never in question. And I know you love me. That you always did.”</p><p>She left the room right after a nurse came in to check on Steve. She put her hood up as she walked down the hall, going out to the car James had hotwired, climbing into the front seat. She didn’t know where their first stop was, but she knew she’d be with the man she loved. Which made her happy. She relaxed into the front seat, kicking her legs up on the dashboard, turning her head to look at him. </p><p>“Where do you wanna go?”<br/>“How about Italy? I don’t think there’s a base there.”<br/>“Italy it is. Airport or ship?”<br/>“Ship? Less of a paper trail for HYDRA to find.”<br/>“Fair enough.”</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>Audrey walked into their new, most likely temporary, home. The apartment wasn’t extravagant. It was just big enough for the both of them. Once they got the keys, they moved in immediately. She stood in the bedroom as James went to sit in the living room. The apartment building was pretty rundown, so they were able to get it incredibly cheap. It helped that James was pretty handy, so they were basically trading work for the unit. She walked around the unit, making a list of things they actually needed. Bathroom stuff, groceries, stuff for the kitchen, things to keep them occupied…… And money. She had a little money, but not nearly enough to buy even a fraction of what they needed. They needed to make money somehow. But with them being on the run from both HYDRA and SHIELD, they couldn’t do that legally. She went out to James and looked at him, getting his attention. </p><p>“What’s going on?”<br/>“I’m going out for a bit. We need a bunch of stuff and I need to figure out how to get it all. I’ll be back.”<br/>“How will I know if something happens to you?”</p><p>She thought for a minute and then went to get the pay-as-you-go phone she got a few months ago. She should’ve gotten rid of it a while ago, but it came in handy from time-to-time. She handed it to him. </p><p>“I remember the number. I’ll give you a call to let you know when I’ll be coming back. If you don’t hear from me by 10 tonight, leave. I’ll catch up if I can.”</p><p>She watched him nod and left, heading down to the market in town. She’d managed to convince the grocery store owner to let her have the groceries she needed for free, but she had to use her powers to get him to let her leave with the rest of it. She found a payphone and called James to let him know she was coming back. She managed to get everything up to the apartment in one trip, letting him take the bags from her so he could put the food away. She went off to find the laundry room that the apartment building had, having to come back to find money to trade for the coins it would take for the machines, going around to the different units until she found an old lady that opened the door for her. </p><p>“¿Podría traer algunas monedas para las lavadoras, por favor? Mi novio y yo tenemos mala suerte y gastamos lo último de nuestro dinero en el apartamento.” (Could I get some coins for the laundry machines, please? My boyfriend and I are down on our luck and we spent the last of our money on the apartment.”<br/>“Claro que si cariña. ¿Cuánta ropa necesitas hacer?” (Of course, my dear. How much laundry do you need to do?)<br/>“No tenemos mucha ropa. Entonces, tal vez solo dos cargas.” (We don't have a lot of clothes. So maybe only two loads.)<br/>“Eres bienvenido a usar mis máquinas. Debe guardar su dinero para comida y cualquier otra cosa que necesite. Pero te ayudaré a empezar. Trae tu ropa y la haré.” (You're welcome to use my machines. You should save your money for food and anything else you need. But I'll help you get started. Bring your laundry over and I'll get it done.)<br/>“No puedo pedirte que hagas eso. Es muy dulce, pero no quiero agobiarla, señora.” (I can't ask you to do that. It's very sweet, but I don't want to burden you, ma'am.)<br/>“No es ningún problema. Doy la bienvenida a la empresa. Y vine aquí sin mi familia. Sé lo que es necesitar ayuda. No me importa ayudar. Si te hace sentir mejor, tal vez podamos solucionar algo.” (It's no problem at all. I welcome the company. And I came here without my family. I know what it's like to need the help. I don't mind helping out. If it would make you feel better, maybe we can work something out.)<br/>“Mi novio es muy bueno en el trabajo manual. Hablaré con él y volveré en un rato.” (My boyfriend is very good at handy work. I'll talk to him and be back in a bit.)</p><p>-------------------------</p><p>Audrey had been in the middle of watching a show when James came into the apartment. Months had passed since she first talked to the nice old lady that lived on the floor below them. She and James knew that they were starting to become complacent since nobody had shown up to take them yet. But it was only a matter of time. They were keeping an ear out, but they were enjoying having a home. It was foreign, but they kind of liked it. It was almost like having their old selves back. Kind of. She looked over at him, seeing the smile on his face. </p><p>“Senora Ramirez gave us some chicken enchiladas and those cheese empanadas you love so much. A thank you for fixing her air conditioner.”<br/>“Nice. That means we have dinner tonight and tomorrow.”</p><p>She noticed that he was in a really good mood as he put the food in the oven to keep it warm. She didn’t know what made him so happy, but she wasn’t going to question it. She hadn’t seen him so happy since the 50s. She was just going back to her show when he came over and took the laptop off of her lap and putting it on the coffee table before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom. She gasped softly when he tossed her onto the bed, balancing herself on her elbows as she watched him undress. When he finished, he stalked over to her, like a tiger stalking his prey, ripping her clothes off of her with no regard for the fact that they didn’t have a lot of clothes still. She watched him, slightly shocked by his behavior. </p><p>“What’s gotten into you?”<br/>“I just…… I had an image of you the other day that I haven’t been able to get out of my head and I can’t keep it to myself anymore, doll.”</p><p>The nickname did something to her, making her heart skip a beat. She didn’t know what to say or how to react, but she was pulled out of her mind when James pulled her down the bed a bit, adjusting her before getting on his knees in front of her, taking hold of her thighs tightly as he bent his head down and flattened his tongue as he ran it from her perineum to her clit. She gasped and arched her back a bit, gripping the sheets lightly, letting her head fall back against the mattress. Even if the brainwashing was still in effect, it was obvious that James knew her a little too well sometimes. She started panting as he kept going, that pleasant burning starting to take effect. She hadn’t even been wet when he started and now she was being forced to get wet. She moaned softly, her hips starting to writhe under him, not that she could go anywhere. He had such a tight grip on her thighs that she was sure that there would be bruises that she would feel for days. She felt him sucking on her like a man that had been walking in the desert for weeks without food or water that had been given a bottle of water and a straw. Her toes kept curling and uncurling as she got close, her muscles contracting as the orgasm quickly crept closer. She was right on the edge but she couldn’t quite topple over. Until she felt James’ pinky inch into her ass out of nowhere, surprising her enough to not think about the frustration, allowing her to cum for him, gushing against his face, hearing him splutter against her. She panted and pulled away but he pulled her back down, flipping her over so she was laying on her stomach. She couldn’t move away from him, though she didn’t want to, feeling him spread her cheeks apart before he started rolling his tongue over her puckered hole. She gasped deeply, her arms pushing her torso up off the bed as her legs started kicking in surprise. With his cybernetic hand, he gripped her leg and kept her close to his face, and with his normal hand, he pushed her top half back down onto the mattress. All without breaking his connection with her ass. Her toes kept curling as she was tongued closer to another explosive orgasm. </p><p>“Fuck, Bucky! You’re gonna make me cum again!”</p><p>She got no response besides him pushing his fingers inside her pussy, pushing her right over the edge as he pressed his fingers against her g-spot, making her gush again. She arched against the bed, screaming into the pillow as she came for him, her body buzzing. Calling him Bucky seemed to encourage him to be rougher. They went for hours, different positions, different locations. The serum they had gave them incredible stamina and remarkable recovery time. When they stopped, they’d fallen asleep almost immediately, curled into each other. Audrey dreamt of herself as a wife, living in a small house filled with children that were all playing with James, who was smiling and laughing as she made dinner for them all. They were happy and she smiled as she slept.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Delicious Spirits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Audrey took a deep breath as she sat in bed with her back against the headboard. She was getting tired of running and it was taking its toll on her. She was getting more of her memories back, but the soldier in her was coming out more and more as she did. She was leaving a trail of people behind her that she’d hurt that was leading SHIELD and HYDRA directly to her and James. She would leave him to his own devices, but he was the only one that could handle her when she was in soldier mode. It was almost like the soldier was another personality inside her that she couldn’t get rid of. And in a way, she was. The soldier had become a huge part of her life. The Audrey that was coming back from the 50s was kind, protective, and fell into the caretaker role so easily. But the Audrey that had been brainwashed by HYDRA stepped up and did the things that Audrey couldn’t do. She had no problem hurting someone without question. She was starting to consider naming the soldier so she could differentiate the two. She couldn’t keep referring to herself in the 3rd person and calling herself Audrey was just as confusing. She was trying to think of a name for the soldier when James came in, not paying attention. She jumped when she got hit by a balled-up piece of paper. She looked up and over to him, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>“She coming back?”<br/>“No. Trying to think of a name for her. But I can’t think of anything.”<br/>“How about something Russian?”<br/>“I do like the name Elena.”<br/>“Then that’s who she is now.”</p><p>She nodded, putting her head in her hands with a deep sigh. Her nightmares had been devastating lately so she’d refused to sleep at night. Another thing that affected her. When she didn’t sleep, the soldier - Elena - came out faster. She was already starting to doze off, not having slept willingly for 4 days. James stood completely still, knowing what was about to happen. Audrey was gonna fall asleep and Elena was gonna front until nightfall. Which meant he was in for a long day. </p><p>------------------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>Walking into the apartment, I couldn’t help but look around. Not just to make sure I wasn’t going to be blindsided by Bucky or Audrey, but because I wanted to see how they were living at the moment. Though, I wasn’t sure that they’d really call constantly running living. The apartment was just barely big enough for one person and too small for two people. The living room had just enough room for a couch and a coffee table, the kitchen was just big enough for one person to make a small dinner, and there was no dining room. Looking around, it was obvious this place came refurbished because I doubt even the soldiers in my family would pick out the squashy couch that was there. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of movement coming from another room. I brought my shield up in front of me as I went to investigate, dropping the shield when I saw Audrey sleeping on the bed, obviously in the middle of a nightmare as I walked into the room. </p><p>“She hasn’t been sleeping well. If you wake her up now, you won’t get Audrey, you’ll get Elena.”</p><p>I turned around to see Bucky watching me. He was obviously on edge, but he didn’t see me as a threat, so I’ll take it. </p><p>“Elena?”<br/>“It’s what she named the soldier. She doesn’t have trigger words like I do. Elena’s more like another personality inside Audrey than the soldier is for me. From what I can guess, Elena is the part of her that Audrey kept hidden before all of this happened that HYDRA brought out. The part of her that she suppressed so she could take care of us.”<br/>“Like multiple personality disorder? How do you know?”<br/>“I’ve been with her for so long now.”<br/>“So you’re getting your memories back too?”<br/>“Yeah. The problem with Audrey and Elena is that with Audrey’s memories returning, Elena is seeing how much Audrey sees how much Audrey needs protection. She doesn’t have it in her to hurt people. She never did. Elena is strong in ways Audrey isn’t. So when Audrey passes out because she’s given up on sleep, Elena comes out and that presents a different set of problems. Elena might let people talk things out first, but she enjoys hurting people. It’s just how she is.”<br/>“So we’re always gonna get both?”<br/>“Yep.”</p><p>I looked over when Audrey started whimpering, whispering my name. I went over to her, but before I could touch her, someone broke into the apartment, waking her up. Which was a mistake. I could tell immediately that once the confusion dissipated Elena settled in. Which meant a world of pain for the agents that broke in. The three of us fought through everyone that came in before we all ran out to the rooftop of the next building. And the problems didn’t stop there. Elena and I were busy dealing with some of the more able-bodied agents that followed us out while Buck was left dealing with some weird cat-like being that was determined to kill him. We were able to help him escape, though we quickly realized that our fun was just beginning. </p><p>-----------------------</p><p>Elena was currently pinned underneath this stranger who, she had to admit, was pretty fucking strong. She struggled but his grip on her wrists tightened. She managed to get out from under him and pin him, but it didn’t last long. He’d pinned her again, this time having her bent backward over the hood of a car. She looked up at him with a grunt, struggling again. </p><p>“Why do you save this man? He is a murderer.”<br/>“No, he isn’t. You know nothing about him.”<br/>“He killed my father. That is all I need to know.”<br/>“Your anger has blinded you. He’s been with me for over a year, on the run from people trying to kill us.”<br/>“I am not blinded to anything. And unless you know what it is like to lose your father, you do not get to talk about what I think.”</p><p>She glared at him, going limp under him. </p><p>“Ungakulinge ujonge kum kwaye ucinge ukuba uyazi ukuba ndilahlekile.” (Don't you dare look at me and presume to know what I've lost.)<br/>“Uthetha iWakandan?" (You speak Wakandan?)<br/>“Kuninzi ongakwaziyo ngam. Mandikugcwalisele.” (There's a lot you don't know about me. Let me fill you in.)<br/>“Elena, don’t!”</p><p>She ignored Steve as she used her powers to make the man above her feel the pain she’d felt since the day her troubles began. Three days after her 7th birthday. The abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, the deaths of her parents, losing her family, her friends, the loneliness, losing James, losing her brother, losing James again, the betrayal, the torture she’d suffered at the hands of HYDRA, the guilt that Audrey felt for what Elena had done, the bones Elena had broken, everything Elena had done to torture people, the pain from the memories coming back, every cut, scrape and bruise she’d ever gotten over the decades. She was able to stand up as the man above her crumpled to the ground with an anguished cry, his mask fading away to show his face. She didn’t stop, even when she saw the tears flowing down his face and Steve tried to bargain with her. She didn’t stop when Steve got close to her, letting him feel what she was feeling, what she was making this man feel. </p><p>“Elena, trebuie să te oprești. El înțelege și tot ce vei face este să o rănești pe Audrey. Și știi că a trecut destul. Lasă-i sa plece.” (Elena, you need to stop. He understands and all you're going to do is hurt Audrey. And you know she's been through enough. Let them go.)</p><p>She looked over at James, her effects on the two men starting to fade a little. Focusing on him, she could feel Audrey starting to surface, making the effects fade faster and faster. When Audrey was back, she collapsed to the ground, seeing what Elena had done as the guilt set in. She kept apologizing as she and James were cuffed and put in the back of a car to be brought in. </p><p>------------------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>Nat and I walked into the room where Audrey was being held in, Nat going to sit down as I shut the door before joining her. I was just starting to recover from the effects of Elena’s pain trip, my eyes red from crying as I looked at my sister, who was refusing to look at me. I leaned forward in my chair, putting my hand on her knee, seeing her flinch away from my touch. </p><p>“You don’t need to feel guilty. That wasn’t you. It was Elena.”<br/>“Don’t do that, Steve…….”<br/>“But it’s the truth.”<br/>“Is T’Chala ok?”<br/>“Yeah. He’s recovering, but he’ll be fine. I will be too.”</p><p>I looked at her as she looked back at me, her red eyes matching mine. </p><p>“Is Bucky ok?”<br/>“I don’t know. I haven’t been able to go back to see him. I guess they’re waiting for some kind of therapist to talk to him.”<br/>“What are they gonna do to him?”<br/>“I wish I knew.”<br/>“Well, are they going to arrest him?”<br/>“I don’t know, Audrey.”<br/>“When are they gonna talk to him?”<br/>“Audrey? I seriously don’t know anything. Nat doesn’t either. Tony’s not letting anyone go to see him until the doctor gets here.”</p><p>She sighed and leaned back against the wall, gripping her hair in her hands. Even without her powers, I knew how she felt. She was once again looking at losing Bucky. This time for good. I couldn’t let that happen. For my sake and hers.</p><p>“There’s something I should tell you, Steve.”<br/>“What is it?”<br/>“I’m pregnant. James doesn’t know because I haven’t been able to tell him. I couldn’t form the words and then all this happened.”<br/>“Oh my God…….”</p><p>-----------------------</p><p>Audrey walked over to James, looking at him nervously as he looked around, hearing Steve and Tony in the background. She took his hand gently to get his attention. She had to tell him now or she’d never tell him. She was just worried about his reaction. Getting pregnant at the moment was not ideal and neither of them knew what kind of effect the serums would have on any baby they had. If it had any effect at all. And that wasn’t even taken into account what they were running from or the fact that running would only be feasible until she started to show, and then she’d start slowing down. And then the decision of what to do about the baby came up. She could terminate the pregnancy, which she thought she should do, she could give the baby up for adoption, as long as the baby doesn’t end up with abilities, and of course, keeping the baby was an option, but that thought circled back around to the serum and the fact they were on the run. </p><p>“What’s going on, doll?”<br/>“I have something to tell you and I’m scared about it. I need you to know that every question you’ll have is something I’ve already asked myself.”<br/>“Ok?”</p><p>She took a deep and shaky breath, looking down at their hands before looking back at him, deciding to just rip the band-aid off. </p><p>“I’m pregnant. About 3 months. I didn’t know how to tell you and then things around us went crazy and I couldn’t.”<br/>“But we’re on the run. How are we……”<br/>“I don’t know. As I said, all of the questions that you’re thinking of and will think of, I’m still asking myself. I don’t know what to do, but I couldn’t not tell you.”</p><p>The two of them stood there in silence, leaning their foreheads together until James went to say something, but the sound of a video playing captured their attention. When it clicked in their heads what was being watched, they both looked at each other, the guilt painfully obvious in their eyes, though hers was ten times worse because she’d actually known Howard. </p><p>-----------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>How I managed to get Tony to allow Buck and Audrey to explain, I still don’t know. That itself was a miracle of epic proportions. When Tony advanced on the two, the pain in their eyes…….. Even Tony could see it. I looked at Tony as they got their thoughts in order. Audrey was the one to speak because Bucky couldn’t bring himself to just yet. </p><p>“The thing you have to keep in mind, Tony, is that Elena didn’t care about anyone unless you were her mark. If she was sent to talk to you, you stood the smallest of chances of surviving her. But if she was sent to kill you, you were dead. There were no two ways around it. She always liked hurting and killing people and still does. So, while she knew that you existed, it was only because she was looking for a way to get to your parents.”<br/>“You telling me that you have multiple personalities?”<br/>“Just the one. Elena is someone that came out because of HYDRA. They needed a weapon and she needed someone to let her out.”<br/>“You knew my father. He always talked about how great you were.”<br/>“Howard was like a brother to me. Not to Elena. Howard took care of me when he realized how lonely I was. How sad. I loved him like I love Steve. If I had known what I would end up doing and going through I never would’ve gone through with getting the serum. I never thought I would hurt him like this.”<br/>“And what about my mom?”</p><p>I watched Audrey start crying and smile sadly, my eyes welling up too as Bucky wrapped an arm around her. </p><p>“You and Howard are so much more alike than you wanna admit. He would flirt with every girl he met and make them feel like they were worth more than society let them feel. But at the end of the day, no matter how many girls he’d slept with, he cared deeply. I never had the pleasure of meeting the woman that made that man settle down and consider a relationship, but God I’d have loved to. I left New York before he even met her. From that point on it was all Elena.”<br/>“You strangled my mom and then fucked our boyfriend on their car. That’s sick.”</p><p>Audrey started to apologize, but the stress of the situation and the pregnancy made her sick. She started gagging before turning around to throw up as Bucky held her hair with one hand, keeping an eye on Tony in case he tried to go for them again. It took a few minutes for Audrey to be able to stop and I was getting concerned. So was Buck. Even Tony could see something was wrong. </p><p>“Why is she so sick?”</p><p>I looked at Bucky and back at Tony with a worried sigh as Bucky took care of Audrey. </p><p>“She’s pregnant. But Audrey is also someone that has spent her life taking care of everyone around her. She doesn’t have it in her to hurt people. And all of this is getting to her. She’s been feeling guilty since she started getting her memories back. This is the result of that. She hates what HYDRA did to her and Bucky. I know you wanna hate them, but you will never be able to hate them more than they hate themselves right now.”<br/>“Steve? She still hasn’t stopped. Something’s wrong.”</p><p>-------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV:  </p><p>I said my goodbyes to Bucky before going back to check on Audrey. She was being put on bedrest for the time being. If the situation had been any different, she probably would’ve hated this. But Wakanda was a safe zone. She could relax knowing Bucky was being taken care of and getting the triggers taken out while her and the baby were being monitored. It wasn’t what she’d had planned, but this will be home for them for a while. Something they both deserved. I walked into the room she was in, seeing her relaxing in bed and watching TV as she ate. She was still pretty weak, but she was looking like she was feeling better. So it’s a start. I returned her smile when she saw me, going over and sitting down next to her, resting my hand on hers. </p><p>“You should stay for a couple days, Steve. You deserve some rest too. God knows you’ve been through a lot.”<br/>“I’m staying until tomorrow but then I’ve gotta head back. I have some things I have to do.”<br/>“Alright. Have you eaten yet?”<br/>“Nah. Not hungry. It smells good, though. What is it?”<br/>“Goat. And before you pass judgment, it’s Africa, and I’m pregnant.”</p><p>I chuckled and shook my head. </p><p>“No judgment. At least not vocally. How are you feeling?”<br/>“Better. Tired, but ok. The doctors are monitoring me and the little zygote closely. Shuri even made me a laptop and a phone. So you’d better call me while you’re gone.”<br/>“Of course, I will. And you’d better tell me when you’re due so I can be here to see my little niece or nephew be born.”<br/>“You know I will.”</p><p>I took her hand when she started tearing up, getting up and pulling her in for a tight hug, rubbing her back as she started crying. </p><p>“Who’s gonna take care of you?”<br/>“I think maybe it’s time for me to take care of myself. Don’t you? You get to take care of someone more important.” </p><p>I placed her hand on her still flat stomach, placing my hand on top of hers as I looked at her, wiping her eyes gently. </p><p>“I love you, Audrey. Take care of the family you finally get to have. Ok?”<br/>“I love you too, Steve. I will.”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Silken Sparks</h2></a>
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    <p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>I was in a rush to see my sister and Bucky. I had tried so hard to be there for the birth of my niece, but things got out of control and I couldn’t. For almost a year. I'd missed a lot of milestones, but I was determined to make up for it while I could. I'd brought gifts, I'd brought snacks, I'd brought toys. Nat even brought stuff for her goddaughter. I was excited about this. I needed to disappear for a bit anyway. I laughed at a joke Nat told me as we walked off the quinjet, having landed in front of the house that had been set up for Buck and Audrey. I could hear something muffled from inside as we walked up to the door, smiling as I knocked. I smiled even brighter when the door opened to reveal Audrey, who squeaked happily and jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly.</p><p>"Well, hello to you too. Shouldn't you be resting?"<br/>"I have a little girl who's already almost a year old. Rest is not possible. Come on in, you two. I just made some coffee." </p><p>I nodded and walked in with Nat, looking around at the house. It had been set up a lot like our old apartment but on a much grander scale. The living room was pretty big, a big sectional sofa with a chaise on the end that was cluttered with laundry, some folded and some not, but all sectioned off; a playmat not too far away that had all kinds of toys on it in various shapes, sizes, and colors; a coffee table that had some more laundry on it along with a couple of mugs of coffee; a flatscreen TV up against the opposite wall from the sofa that was currently playing one of the Saw movies, though it was paused; a couple of armchairs that matched the sofa; and then some impressive-looking tech that Tony would appreciate. The kitchen was directly off the living room, and that was almost bigger than the living room since it looked like they had turned the unused dining room as part of the kitchen for more counter space. I hadn’t seen the house, and I did want to see it, but I wanted to see my niece even more. As if being summoned, there were 30 seconds of a baby crying and then it petered out before Bucky came out with my niece in his arm. </p><p>“Hey, Buck. You’re looking good. You lose some weight?”</p><p>I smiled as he chuckled, looking as if he’d been asleep too, his laugh and voice thick with sleep. </p><p>“Yeah. The arm wasn’t conducive to the nightmares, but Shuri’s building me another one. And I’m about to lose even more weight.”</p><p>I put the bags down and took my niece, tearing up as I held her. She looked like the perfect mix of her parents. She had Audrey’s hair, nose, and ears, but she had Bucky’s eyes, lips, and smile. She seemed to recognize me and headbutted me gently as she leaned into me, holding onto my shirt as she hugged me. I kissed her head gently. </p><p>“Stephanie Natalia Barnes.” </p><p>I looked over at Audrey, who was taking pictures of us, beaming at us. </p><p>“You named her after Nat and me?”<br/>“Yeah. You’re family to us, punk.”<br/>“And Nat is the only other one that understands what we’ve been through and still stuck by us. That means a lot to us.”</p><p>----------------------------------</p><p>Audrey sighed with exhaustion as she fell into bed next to Bucky, both of them bouncing a bit on the mattress. She let Steve put the baby to bed while Nat had passed out on the sofa in the living room. Stephanie had officially turned a year old that day and, while she had fun, it had been a long day. She looked over at Bucky when he started running his fingers through her hair, smiling softly at him. </p><p>“Stevie putting Steph to bed?”<br/>“Yep. practically ripped her out of my arms. I just barely got my kisses in.”<br/>“I’m afraid that we’ll wake up one of these days and find that that little punk took her and left Wakanda.”<br/>“At least she’ll be taken care of. Although, if that happened, I’d let Elena back out to deal with him.”</p><p>She smiled as he chuckled, returning the kiss he placed on her lips. It was slow and passionate, though there was a longing behind it. It had been so long for them, at least since Bucky went under. She’d been in the nesting phase when he was brought back out, and then dealing with a newborn/infant/toddler, and dealing with their nightmares and Elena, it took a lot out of them. So there hadn’t been a lot of time for them to be intimate. But there was one thing they had now that they didn’t have before. Steve and Nat.</p><p>“Bucky? Lock the door.”</p><p>She looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a small smile. It didn’t take much convincing to get him to go and lock the door. She laughed softly when he all but ran back to her and jumped onto the bed, hovering over her. </p><p>“You gotta slow down there, Bucky. I’ve been celibate for the past year and a half, if not a little longer. The doctor told me that it’d be like being a virgin all over again. You’ll have to take it easy on me.”<br/>“So kind of like our first date? Roses, coke, those weird greasy cheese fries you used to like, and the Ferris wheel?”</p><p>She smiled and nodded, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, seeing him shiver because of her touch. They didn’t rush anything, but while their foreplay didn’t include any kind of touching or teasing, by the time she was ready for him, she was soaked. When he pushed into her, it was obvious that neither of them were going to last long. It had been too long and there was a lot of tension and longing between them. And it was truly like being a virgin all over again. She was nervous at first, there was a pinching she hadn’t felt in forever, and neither of them was used to sex anymore. But, because of the serum, the recovery time was quick for both of them. So what started out as slow and reconnecting, became making up for the lost time and remembering the things that made them tick. Unfortunately for Steve, whose room was across from theirs, he learned that too. </p><p>---------------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>The more time that passed the less I wanted to leave. Stephanie was my whole world at the moment. I was there for her first steps. I had watched her stand herself up using the coffee table, looking around for something, though it turned out that ‘thing’ was someone. She forced her little legs to carry her all the way over to Bucky, who was just coming in after going to see Shuri about his new arm to get the bugs fixed. Buck was so surprised that he knocked a chair over and scared her. I heard her first word. The 4 of us were swimming in front of the house, having some fun, and cooling off. Nat was holding onto Stephanie, talking to her in French, a language we all knew. Audrey had gone inside to get some snacks and drinks for us all and Nat looked away for two seconds when Bucky asked her a question, and Stephanie did not like being ignored at all. She wriggled around so much that she fell out of Nat’s grasp and fell into the water, going under the surface. Nat grabbed her quickly and pulled her close to her chest as Stephanie spluttered and coughed. </p><p>“Je suis vraiment désolé, lapin. Êtes-vous OK?” (I'm so sorry, bunny. Are you ok?)<br/>“Maman!” (Mommy!)</p><p>We the three of us were stunned that she said a full word that we didn’t see Audrey until she took Stephanie from Nat, chastising all three of us for not doing anything when she was crying. She’d been upset about missing her first word, but Stephanie said it all the time. Followed very quickly by papa. Something that made Bucky really happy. All of these milestones and I got to see them all. But behind the happiness was the twinge of jealousy. I was never going to get this. The world seemed to be punishing me for taking my sister’s life away from her the way I did. I guess I’ll have to settle for being that beautiful little girl’s uncle. A position that I did enjoy immensely. </p><p>-----------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>I sat with Stephanie and Nat in the waiting room, trying to keep Stephanie occupied and not panicking. Audrey and Bucky got pregnant again, but this pregnancy was difficult from start to finish. To include the labor. Audrey had gone into labor way too early, so they had to stop it medically. But this baby seemed determined to give everyone as much trouble as he could because he decided to make his escape as slowly as possible. Audrey had been in labor for just shy of two days at this point and she’d been wheeled down for an emergency c-section. Stephanie had asked what a c-section was and a nurse that seemed a little too serious to be dealing with kids, told her in graphic detail. Stephanie cried for 2 hours because she was scared that her mom and little brother were gonna get cut in half and she couldn’t get that out of her mind. That was a long 2 hours. So I colored with her until she fell asleep in my lap. Nat and I fell asleep not long after, and I was woken up by Bucky, who was holding his son. </p><p>“Howard Nathanial Barnes.”</p><p>I smiled tearfully as I gently got up, trying not to wake Stephanie. I was able to hold him first, holding the little boy close to me, watching him squirm around before he settled and fell asleep. </p><p>“How’s Audrey?”<br/>“Exhausted. How’d Stephanie do after that nurse talked to her?”<br/>“She calmed down and we colored until she fell asleep. You look happy, Buck.”<br/>“I am, Steve. I really am.”</p><p>--------------------------</p><p>Sitting in the living room and watching the kids play, Audrey had a bad feeling. She had a feeling that something was going to happen, but she didn’t know what it was. She’d gone through the entire house 4 times, searching for anything that seemed off or out of place. But there was nothing. The kids had gotten over their chickenpox, Bucky’s nightmares had started to slow down, Elena wasn’t needed anymore so Audrey was in control more, and things were settling down in general. So why was she feeling this way? She looked out the window when she heard something, seeing T’Challa and Okoye walking up with a couple of guards, who were carrying a big container together. She called for Bucky, who was in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen after the big breakfast he’d made. He’d gotten into cooking after he had woken up from a really bad nightmare and needed something to do with his hands that wasn’t destructive. </p><p>“What’s going on, doll?”<br/>“T’Challa and Okoye are here with some kind of container. And it doesn’t look like a box of Christmas gifts.”</p><p>They both went out to greet them, Audrey’s heart starting to race. Whatever was happening, this was the cause of her bad feelings. And when the container was opened, her suspicions were confirmed. Inside was a weaponized prosthetic arm for Bucky and a bunch of guns and other weapons for the both of them. The Winter Soldiers were needed for some kind of war.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Science of Man</h2></a>
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    <p>Audrey paced around the bedroom, attempting to mentally prepare herself for what she had to do, but she couldn’t. She had to let Elena come out and take control. The problem with that was that it had been quite a while since Elena was allowed out and Audrey doubted she’d be able to put the soldier back in the box, so to speak. Things had been going so well and now it was all falling apart. </p><p>“Doll? We have to go meet Steve and the others.”<br/>“Do we have to do this?”<br/>“Yeah, doll. We do. The world is in danger.”<br/>“The world is always in danger. But we finally get to have the family we didn’t get to have before. We have kids, we’re married, we live in a beautiful house in a place we love. I don’t wanna give this up. And you finally got rid of those triggers and Elena hasn’t been let out of her brain cage in so long. What if I can’t get her back in when this is over? Or worse…… What’ll happen to the kids if something happens to us? If we die, where will they go? Who’s gonna take care of them? Will they even remember us? Stephanie is such a sensitive girl and Howie’s still in his clingy phase. And there are so many milestones that I don’t wanna miss out on. That I don’t want you to miss out on. And what’s gonna keep me going if you die? I can’t lose you for a third time, James. It’ll kill me. It’ll actually kill me.”</p><p>She broke down as he pulled her in for a hug, letting her cry it out. He had the same questions and she knew it, but that didn’t stop the verbal barfing that had just occurred. And what was worse was that, while she knew she’d be able to find someone to raise the kids if something happened to her and/or Bucky, none of those questions had answers. And certainly not the ones she was looking for. </p><p>-------------------------------</p><p>Audrey panted as she stood where she was, confused as to why everything seemed to stop at once. It was as if a hush fell over the whole of Wakanda. And then dust started. It started with Bucky. He’d walked toward Steve and said his name. Even Elena reacted to it, saddened by his loss. Seeing Bucky dissipate like that made her wanna see her kids and make sure that they were still there. But seeing dust come from her made her stop. For a moment, she thought she was gonna disappear too. But she never did. The dust was coming from her stomach. She’d been pregnant and she hadn’t known it. She’d watched her husband dust away only to watch her unborn child dust away before she had any symptoms of pregnancy. As she fell to her knees, screaming in complete and unbearable pain, something snapped. Audrey truly couldn’t handle losing Bucky again as well as an unborn child, causing Elena to push her way to the front. Audrey was gone. Completely gone. </p><p>------------------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>I ran up to the door with Nat, looking around for Audrey and the kids. I was expecting to see her holding onto them tightly and sobbing. I was expecting to find that one or both had disappeared and Audrey would be devastated. I was expecting to see Audrey fighting to keep control and not let Elena out. I was expecting to hear screaming and crying. I was expecting a lot of things. But I wasn’t expecting to see Elena holding onto Howard’s limp body. How did I know it was Elena? When I caught sight of her face there were tear stains on her face, but there weren’t any fresh tears. </p><p>“I didn’t do anything to him. He choked on something a while ago. Whoever was watching him must’ve dusted because they were alone.”<br/>“Howard’s…… He……”<br/>“Audrey’s screaming right now. Even I think this is sad.”</p><p>I couldn’t believe it. Seeing that little face, I couldn’t help but allow the bile to rise in my throat, vomiting all over the coffee table and the floor, falling to the floor. He was dead before he really got a chance to live. And he died scared and alone. And Stephanie. She had to watch it all happen and not know what to do. That snapped me out of my thoughts and I stood up, wiping my mouth before calling for Stephanie as I tore through the house. I ended up finding her by the lake. When I called her name, she ran to me and jumped into my arms, both of us crying as we held onto each other. After I showered and changed, she refused to let go of me for the rest of the day. The worse part of all of this, Stephanie had absolutely no idea why Elena, who looked exactly like her mom just not nearly as nice and loving, was just up and leaving without a goodbye. She had so many questions and couldn’t go to her parents for help because they were both gone. My entire family was gone except for Stephanie. I knew nothing about raising kids, but I sure as shit wasn’t about to leave her alone with this. </p><p>---------------------------------</p><p>Steve’s POV: </p><p>I was struggling with raising Stephanie during all of this. She had questions that I couldn’t answer. For weeks she’d cried herself to sleep because she was scared and missed her parents and brother. I did too and I didn’t know how to help her. She didn’t understand when her babysitter dusted away, or when Howard choked, or why her dad never came back, or why her mom abandoned her. She didn’t understand multiple personalities. She didn’t know all that Audrey had been through or that her heart could possibly be broken beyond repair. I was being pulled in multiple different directions. Raising Stephanie, finding Thanos so we could reverse this, and finding Elena. I was hoping that if I found her, I could convince her to let Audrey back. And for the first time, I got a solid lead. Some camera had caught her at the airport, stealing a plane and flying it to Budapest. I had left Stephanie with Thor while I went to go find Elena. It took some doing, but we managed to track her down. But when we managed to find where she was staying, she was nowhere to be found. She left a letter addressed to me. It said that I needed to stop looking for her. That she didn’t wanna be found. If Audrey needed me, she’d find me. But I would never find her. And she was right. The only reason I found her in Budapest last time was pure luck. I looked back at Nat, broken and feeling like I was drowning. We flew the quinjet home, both of us flying in total silence. But the silence ended as we walked inside. There was screaming, yelling, crying, and what sounded like gunshots. We rushed in to find Elena pointing a gun at Thor’s head, pushing Stephanie away as the little girl went to hug her, and everyone else that was in the room was trying to reason with Elena, who was very quickly getting fed up with all of it. I saw it happened before she’d even raised her hand. I rushed over and stood in front of Stephanie, pushing her behind me. </p><p>“I’ll let a lot slide, considering everything that you and Audrey have been through, but you hurt her and I’ll hurt you in return. Are we understood, Elena?”<br/>“Then tell the little brat that I’m not a touchy-feely person.”<br/>“She doesn’t know you aren’t her mother. She doesn’t understand the multiple personality thing. You look and sound like Audrey and she thinks you are here. She’s scared and sad and hurt and wants her mother.”<br/>“That’s why I’m here. You need to let her go. Audrey doesn’t want you to bring her out.”<br/>“What are you talking about?”<br/>“I hate to burst your bubble, Cap but seeing James die after losing him twice before, finding out she was pregnant because it dusted out of her, and then seeing her son’s limp dead body broke her heart and her spirit. I might’ve fronted, but I was pushed to the front. She begged me to take over. And honestly? Not even I can blame her. She’s heartbroken and devastated and she doesn’t want to come back. You want her back? Too damn bad. She doesn’t want to.”<br/>“But Stephanie……”<br/>“Is a painful reminder of what she lost. She lost her chance at a family back in the 50s and then lost the one she had a few months ago.”<br/>“She has a responsibility.”<br/>“She has a heart that’s been shattered and trust that’s been broken! She had put me away and had to pull me back out to fight. Something she hasn’t done in years. She had all she’d wanted, all that you took from her, and she lost it all. She doesn’t want to come back and be reminded of her loss and she’s screaming at me to keep you away from bringing her back. You try and you’re going to bring back somebody who wants nothing more than to die so she can be with those she lost! Do you get it? She’s gone. And she needs to stay gone. Or she’ll kill herself. And I like what I do. So back off, Steve. She wants you to more than I do.”</p><p>----------------------------</p><p>Tony’s POV: </p><p>“You’re the only one of us that’s lost kids, Clint. You’ll be able to help her.”<br/>“No, I won’t, Steve. It’s hard enough that she’s lost the love of her life. You add finding out she was pregnant because she lost the baby and then finding out she lost a child that she got to bond with and make a connection with and you’re lucky she hasn’t killed herself yet. You’re incredibly lucky that all she did was let Elena take over. She isn’t just heartbroken right now, she’s been destroyed. Even if she does come back, she will never be the Audrey you knew ever again. She’ll spend the rest of her life sabotaging every relationship she’ll ever form, if she doesn’t shut herself away. I killed a bunch of bad people. But she’ll blame herself and slowly kill herself until her heart gives out. And if she’s lost what you say she has, it won’t take long.”</p><p>I sighed sadly, taking off my glasses as I listened to the knuckleheads talk about Audrey like this. I wanted to help her too. </p><p>“So is there anything that can be done? I want my sister back, but Stephanie needs her mom. She doesn’t understand any of this and I can’t get her to understand.”<br/>“Let me try, Capsicle?”</p><p>The two men looked at me. Steve hesitated but nodded. I got up and went for the door, but stopped and turned to them. </p><p>“I’m going in alone. We’ll come get you when we’re done.”<br/>“Tony?” <br/>“I know. I’ll be careful.”<br/>“That too. I was gonna ask if you could send Stephanie out on your way. I promised I would take her out for lunch for Bucky’s birthday.”</p><p>I nodded, stopping by the kid’s room and knocking on the door. I looked down at her as she opened the door.</p><p>“Hey, kid. Your uncle wants to see you. What’s with the tears, munchkin?”<br/>“It’s daddy’s birthday today and uncle Steve wants to celebrate it, but I want mommy to celebrate it with us. But she hates me now and I miss daddy.”<br/>“Your mom doesn’t hate you. Come here for a second.”</p><p>I went over to her bed with her, picking her up and putting her in my lap. </p><p>“Do you know those moments when you get so sad or scared that you want to hide or become someone else?”<br/>“Yeah. I still feel like that.”<br/>“Well, that’s what’s happening right now. Your mom lost a lot of people over the years and losing your dad and brother made her so sad that she had to become someone else to protect herself from the pain she’s been feeling. And it sucks that she became someone different, and we all miss her, but we’re trying to get her back. It’s gonna take a while to do that. So we have to be patient. I know it’s hard, I’m not good at being patient either. But I promise you that if you tell your uncle that if you just wanna spend the day with him not celebrating, he’ll understand.”<br/>“You don’t think he’ll be mad at me? I don’t want him to be sad either.”<br/>“We’re all sad, munchkin. And we’ll be sad for a while. But I can promise he won’t be mad at you.”</p><p>I talked to her for a few more minutes before letting her go find Steve, making my way to Elena’s room. I walked in without knocking, looking over at her. </p><p>“Come on. We’re going out. And no, I won’t leave you alone.”</p><p>She sighed and followed me out to my car, climbing in with her. I drove her all the way to my house, smiling when I saw Morgan playing out front with Pepper. I got out with her and called out to my girls, catching Morgan when she ran over. </p><p>“What are we doing here, Stark? Is there a point to bringing me around your brat?”<br/>“What do you have against kids, Elena?”<br/>“They’re loud and annoying. And clingy.”<br/>“Well, you’re cheery, aren’t you?”<br/>“Just tell me what we’re doing here? I don’t like kids.”<br/>“The others are nervous around you and needed to think straight, so I brought you with me. I wanted to check on my family.”<br/>“You’re stupider than you look. You know what I can do and what I’ve already done to your family. Why would you do that to yourself?”<br/>“Because you won’t do anything to them or I’ll kill you. Simple as that. Plus, I needed to talk to you. Kill two birds with one shiny stone.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes before walking off toward my shed. I kissed Morgan’s head gently, bringing her inside, kissing Pepper.</p><p>“Isn’t that Steve’s sister?”<br/>“Yep. In a sense.”<br/>“What do you mean?”<br/>“She has multiple personalities. That one’s name is Elena. The soldier.”<br/>“What is she doing here?”<br/>“Steve wants Audrey back. I was hoping to coax her out. Which is why I brought her here.”<br/>“Doesn’t she cause people pain?”<br/>“I won’t let her touch you or Morgan. I swear to you.”</p><p>I kissed her again before going about my day. It wasn’t until dinner time that Elena decided to grace us with her presence. She came in and looked over at us as we sat down to eat. </p><p>“You hungry? Pepper made spaghetti.”<br/>“Sure. Why not?”</p><p>I got up to get her a plate and a glass, grabbing a glass for her and a beer out of the fridge, putting them down in front of her. The dinner passed by slowly. Elena stayed quiet while the rest of us talked and joked around. The evening went much the same way. But I could tell that something was sinking in. Elena didn’t say a single word until Pepper went up to put Morgan to bed. </p><p>“Why did you bring me here, Tony? What was the point of making me watch you with your family?”<br/>“Why do you think there was a point?”<br/>“Because just like your father, you never do anything unless you’re gonna get something out of it. So what are you getting out of this? What even is it that you’re trying to do?”<br/>“You want the truth? We need Audrey back. I know she’s hurt, and she has every right to be. She gets to grieve and mourn and miss her husband and son. But she’s needed. It might hurt to look at her kid, but she’s a little girl that misses her mommy. She’s lost a lot, but she has a family that needs her. And I have a feeling she needs them too. She can’t just hide away. And that’s coming from someone who’s done a lot of that. She needs to come home. Or you need to leave. Because everyone’s already panicking.”</p>
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